John Lee's Six Love Styles from Psychology Studies

How one loves has been the topic of debate for many years in coffee houses, talk shows, clubs and homes.

Many even say that the Hollywood is responsible for shaping how everyone perceives love.

Perhaps, it is true, but at the end of the day, we seek and show love by focusing on our own psychology. This was actually best understood by John Lee. Thus, he gifted the world with the model known as 6 colors of love, a wheel of love styles similar to color wheel we studied about in art classes.

We will be discussing them all below. If you read them you will be able to understand why your friends’ viewpoints on love do not match  yours.

At the end, there is also a quiz that you can take to figure out your own love style. Do not forget to check the compatibility chart.

1. Eros, the color red

In Greek mythology, Eros is the son of Aphrodite and god of love. In Greek language, the broader meaning of this term is love. But according to John Lee, it is also a modern love style through which a person wishes to become complete with their partner. They strongly believe in fairytale love. Interestingly, they can easily have love at first sight with their partners. Yet it must be noted that they are extremely aware of what type of mate they really want.  People linked to Eros style; also tend to have strong optimistic viewpoint about the future of their love relationships, with marriage being the ultimate goal. In brief, people with Eros love style can be described as very emotional, romantic and satisfied with very little.

2. Ludus, the color blue

This term is taken from Latin language and its meaning is games. The same is applied to a love style that revolves around game playing in relationships. In details, people associated with Ludus love style prefer multiple partners over one single long term relationship. Although they are outgoing and skilled at impressing the dates in confident manner, they do not believe in intense or emotional love and connections. Additionally, they are more interested in the first stage of courtship. When things start to get deeper with the current partner they prefer chartering new waters. This should signal that they usually have no problem in cheating. In brief, people with Ludus love style generally prefer one night stands, friends with benefits and short term dating experiences.

3. Storge, the color yellow

Its main meaning is parental love. But according to John Lee, Storge love takes place between two friends. You might have heart of people who develop romantic love for a friend after knowing them for a few weeks or years. They are basically the ones who fall in Storge love style category. How this love does really takes place? Its answer is connected to their similar likes, dislikes, habits and good amount of comfort level. Just like the Eros group, the Storge ones believe in long term relationship and marriage, yet one problem they go through is not being able to share intense romantic connection with their partners.

4. Pragma, the color green

This love style is a mixture of Ludus and Storge. In other words, people with Pragma love style are a little too into the practical world. Passionate love is never their main goal, but the marriage containing a great amount of comfort is. They first make a list of traits they want in a partner and then date a series of people to see if their features match those. Of course, the one with most similarity is picked. The Pragma group has no problem in staying friend with the partner first and at the same time, they do not hesitate to say good bye to them for the next one. Basically, that is why they are known as the mixture of Ludus and Storge.

5. Manic, the color violet

This means insane.  Manic is the combination of Eros and Ludus love styles. People falling under this category have paranoia about losing their lovers. Apparently, they can be extremely possessive, fearful and controlling in relationships and tend to view their partners as property. Additionally, they cannot stand being alone and thus; have a need to be in a relationship always.  If the current one does not work out they do not hesitate to go the next one.  People with manic love style do not feel the need to make any lists of traits they want in a mate. As a matter of fact, they can be with anyone for whom they have suddenly felt love. That said, psychologists tend to see manic love style as symptoms of mental illness which fortunately has a cure.

6. Agape, the color orange
This is what we get when we mix Eros and Storge. The main meaning of this term is spiritual love. Same applies to its love style. In details, people from Agape love style see love as holy, but also romantic. They get a great amount of satisfaction from fulfilling their lovers’ needs and on the way, often end up sacrificing their own importance, needs and wants.  But this does not cause any hurt to them. They just know they will do anything for the happiness of their mates.  It is also important to mention that people with this love style do not believe in breakups and divorces.

Now you can go take the quiz given below to find out your own love style. Its questions do not look too proper or scientific, but for me, it has given accurate result which is Eros. The truth is that studies have already shown that these love styles are programmed in our genes. So we cannot dismiss them as pseudo science.  

What's Your Love Style?

Here you can check how well each style is compatible with the rest.

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