When to Say I love You to Your Partner (Practical Idea)

It is funny how there are so many advisers online warning people about the line “I Love You”. Most often the question is about when to say it to a partner. This is what people are actually looking for.

How long should you wait before you let your lips to flutter “I love you”? One of the articles which I found the funniest said something like “some partners don’t want you to utter it at all because they want you to show it instead”. This advice profoundly suits pet owners. Animals do not understand our language that well. Try telling those golden words to your dog. Just like my cat, he will probably reply with a “whatever” look. But both the animals accept food and rub we give to them as token of our love. So in short, they are the ones who prefer the show. When humans live by this motto, they make relationships look like ponzi schemes. That's because at the end of the day, this means that they want the partners to keep investing on the relationship for fantasy yield while they remain free of every deeper commitment. It is strange that some relationship experts try to make I love you sound suffocating. If you truly wish to know when to say those words read on.

Practically, refrain from saying I love you to a person you have just met. Otherwise, you will get treated like a very immature person. Some bolder love interests may even reply to it with “you don’t even know me”. There is a difference between like and love. The first stage of the courtship involves liking which has direct connection to infatuation. Love is deeper than that. The meaning of seriously loving someone means you accept them as they are. You love to be next to them and you have no problem with their evil side and all other weaknesses. So before you say I love you to a love interest, get to know them. Date them. Learn more about their habits, views and so on. Find out if you two are compatible. Ask yourself if you can imagine yourself with this person married and happy. If your heart says yes bring it on. Do remember that there is nothing called 4 months, 1 year, golden jubilee waiting period rule for I love you. Sometimes it takes only three weeks for two people to get to know each other. Others take 2 or 3 months. So whenever you feel ready and just jump.

What if the partner says that they were not ready for it? 

You can significantly avoid this from happening by hinting to them that you love them some days before the arrangement of that golden moment. But best of all, try hinting about the future. Openly tell them about how it would be nice to spend the rest of your life with them. If they feel uncomfortable to this you know they are not ready to hear the words just yet. What if this goes for 7 months? Then you know they are milking you. Run!

What if they never ever return the favor with “I love you too”?

This is not a good symptom at all. A person who never says I love you too has one or two of the following problems:

Hurt from past relationship, sexual abuse or parents’ divorce
Sometimes chaotic relationships stop people from believing in love. During your early dating days, you will come to know about the history. Still hurting from the past is usually a clear sign that they need time to heal. In a situation like this, you can try helping your partner. However, if nothing changes and you feel uncomfortable with the artificialness of the relationship you need to break off. The reason will be explained shortly.

Have ludus view on love
Now what exactly is ludus view on love? The word has multiple meanings, but often is associated with playing games. In psychology, it is considered as love style of players. But one does not have to be a habitual player to reject the words. Apparently, for some people, the relationship is what matters the most and not the partner. They have abnormal inclination to save the words for some soul mate they believe will one day knock on their door. These are also the same people who use that don’t say, just show it excuse and keep leading on their current partners. This is nothing but a game.

The mainstream experts say that  "I love you" is frightening to some people and even can burden the relationship with complicacy. That truly means seeing the partner's true color. Ask yourself  these questions: what good is a relationship where you cannot fulfill positive verbal urge? What good is a partner who cannot accept three simple romantic words? What good is a heart that makes you feel guilty about the line? The rejection simply means they do not accept you for who you are. Relationship cannot be built on just sex and doing lovely things for each other. Just like many other areas of our lives, it does need verbal assurance. In fact, when we are young, only verbal assurance can help us make our relationship solid.

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